We all love to hear endearing declarations, but when those words spew out as easily as squirty cream after every conversation, over and over again, they can become hollow. I even got into this habit at one point and found myself telling the insurance clerk on the phone that I loved him at the end of the call. Habit. See?
When I choose to say I love you or I miss you, it’s because I do. Anyone who hears me utter those words, feel honoured. I’m now a fully fledged cynic, so take that to the bank!
Lockdown has brought out the best and the worst in us. For me, it’s been liberating (ironically) and enlightening. I feel like the shackles that once constrained me, have been removed. I’m at that place in my life where if I don’t want to do or say something, then by golly, I won’t. I won’t make an excuse either. I’m tired of appeasing people and I know that there are many out there who can relate, but remain acquiescent.
I was told “I miss you” a few weeks ago, and as I opened my mouth to reciprocate the sentiment, to avoid offending/upsetting the person, I considered what I’d rather say….which was the truth. My truth was, that I didn’t miss them, simply because they’ve never ever given me reason to miss them. You can’t miss what you’ve never had, right? I told them that I’m happy as a pig in poop. I write, I live by the sea and live a peaceful and uncomplicated life. This has continued to be my mantra. It’s not selfish to do what makes you happy and it’s certainly not selfish to tell the truth.
The pandemic and the last year and a half has opened my eyes to many things, and I realise that life really is too short to kid yourself and others, for the sake of not rocking the boat.
Take care, Eva x