Month: January 2022

Grrr. FIF…TEE. FIFTY. FIDDY. FIF-DEE…or FIT-TIE. Ugh. Half a century old. This year I’m going to be HALF A CENTURY OLD!!! Excuse the outburst as an opening paragraph, I just needed to vent the fact that I’m turning 50 later this year out of my system. It’s cool. I’m cool— contrary to what my kids think. Phew. I feel like I’ve done a HIT session equivalent to writing.

As my school friends turn that age, I’m grateful that I’m one of the youngest in my year. There was a time when the youngest bunch of us wanted to be older, like our peers. Ha! Not now. My friends and I often discuss the issues of being on the dark side of 40 and all that nature curses us with; let’s be honest here, the prospect of not so firm jawlines, boobies and bottoms and the menopause aren’t exactly appealing. But (pun unintended) we as modern women are going there armed and ready for this new phase of maturity. It’s not just the women either. The men, too are facing this with the same passion as we laydeees.

Gym memberships, fitness and wellness apps are rife. We are also spoiled for choice with ‘expert’ menopause advice. In a generation of modern technology, we really do have knowledge and guidance at our well-moisturised finger-tips. Women and men have never looked so good. Attitudes have changed. Just because we’re getting older, it doesn’t mean we have to accept it, as was the stance of previous generations. Nope. Now, people have fitness/appearance goals. Obviously, not everyone is aspiring to look ten years younger, but we do want to indulge in some physical and mental self-preservation, whatever that means for the individual. Some go as far as having a little or a lot of cosmetic/aesthetic enhancement and others acknowledge that growing old is a rite of passage and just want to look after themselves.

Me, personally? I like to look after myself. I have been asked if I’d ever have Botox/ lip fillers/ fillers but if I’m honest, this doesn’t appeal to me. I’ve been given the privilege of life and what goes with it. If I ‘look my age’ then so be it. As it is, with my friends— guys and gals, we will continue to laugh and despair at our plight… and our fight for some semblance of ‘looking good in our middle-age’, convincing ourselves that we’re fitties in our fifties. On that note, I’m off to do half-an-hour on the static bike and pull ludicrously scary facial exercises—the midlife jowls aren’t dropping with the ease of a bad comedian’s mic!

Take care, Eva x

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A word that conjures so many feelings; be they positive, negative or confusion. Reflecting on events over the last few weeks, I tweeted ( @laulauev ) a short post about it: “even though we may accept a situation, it doesn’t mean that we’re happy about it, it’s just better than banging your head against a brick wall”. And there it is. As humans, do we accept situations that we are faced with, out of open-mindedness or resignation? Is it better to keep the peace rather than rock the boat?

I have witnessed situations that I can empathise with and as such, could give an honest opinion. Being forthright is, believe it or not, a trait in me, that people seem to value. Anyway, back to the task at hand. Sitting amongst family and loved ones during Christmas, I realised there was a really lovely vibe. Was it because I’ve accepted that, although it’s strange to be talking to my eight-year-old half-sister as if she were my granddaughter, it pleased my dad and his young partner? As a result, I had not created any friction between the family. I accept it. I’ve given up voicing my opinions. There was a time when my father’s views of my having a mixed-race child (Ha! I didn’t stop at one, I went for a hat-trick) were downright awful, and although he came to adjust to the fact, the subject became the albatross around our necks. The tables have turned 360 degrees and now he seeks the very same thing that I had. Sometimes, you have to shrug your opinions off your shoulders, for the sake of peace. More importantly, for yourself. For the preservation of sanity.

I recently received news from a friend whose son “came out”. Good for him. I’m so glad he did it now and didn’t live a life of secrecy for years. It wouldn’t have been conducive to the young man’s formative teenage life. Because the masses have fought tirelessly for their rightful place in society, we are more accepting of the change. Schools have made it a safe place for students to speak their feelings and give them a venting platform. As such, it’s an easier transition from uncertainty to certainty.

Then we have the masses that have demonstrated their frustrations during lockdown regulations being imposed by the government. Regulations that caused heartache, depression and upset for thousands of people. Some refused to accept the incessant barrage of rules and chose to live life accordingly. Then there were those who, although resented what was happening (including, me) went with the law, because, well, it was the law. See? Accepting but are not happy with it. Now, it transpires that while we were abiding by the rules, the government weren’t. The result? A nation of unhappy citizens who feel cheated because they obeyed the edict forced upon them, for the sake of family and friends’ health…but at what cost? So, you see. Although being tolerant of certain situations can create a harmonious state of mind, it can also cause feelings of deep resentment.

Be safe, be healthy. Take care, Eva x

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