Eva Talks About...

Cougars and Sugar Daddies

I’ve had a few thoughts lately, which a very dear friend of mine echoed in a recent conversation- the contentious issue of large age gaps.

It’s a topic that even in the twenty-first century, is still greeted with disapproval (silent or vocalised) and none more so than when a woman has a relationship with a much younger guy. It seems that women are given a hard time in whatever choices they make when it comes to sex and partners…

A guy who sleeps with lots of women, is a stud, a player. Yet these labels are an accolade to his prowess. A woman, confident in her own skin and sexuality is looked upon as a slut, who must have insecurity issues and a need for attention. Umm nope. Sorry, all’s well in her life. She’s just red-blooded and has needs which silicone toys just can’t fulfil. The precept is as old as time and it clings onto its threadbare perceptions like an indelible stain.

Then we have the issue of an old man having relationships with much younger women. Again, he’s congratulated for still having enough ‘lead in his pencil’ to maintain a healthy sex life (although I’m sure Viagra helps) and it’s deemed as acceptable. Obviously, circumstances vary across the board. Some old men need to feel they ‘still have it’ and find young women whose motives are for financial security. These older men don’t recognise the implications or prefer to shy away from them. Conversely you have younger girls with older (but still young) men and society question his intentions and whether they are predatory or genuine. Then there’s the recently divorced Middle Agers who meet girls a lot younger than them as a confidence booster. There’s a plethora of examples!

Now we have the ladies. They’re deemed as cougars, mother replacements or old and lonely. If a woman meets and forms a relationship with a guy twenty or thirty years younger than her, it can be greeted with derogatory opinions. The woman may be attractive or in good shape ‘for her age’ but she will carry doubts on her appearance and ageing body, along with all the delightful facets a maturing woman has been generously gifted by Mother Nature, at the best of times. However, when critics express their thoughts or worse, remain in disapproving silence, they often don’t realise the affect it has on her. Take the French President’s older wife. He was a 15 year old school boy and she a 40 year old married woman when they met (although they didn’t become a couple officially until he was 18). The ex-teacher takes a lot of stick for being the epitome of a cougar yet the male rock stars of late, are seen as ‘dudes’. Life heh?

I have people within my circle who have relationships with people a lot younger than them. One couple are childless and enjoying the ride. I wish them the best. It works stupendously well for them both.

The other is a ‘mature’ man with two adult kids, his partner is ten years younger than his eldest, has several grandchildren and now a small child with said young woman. Horses for courses.

All in all, we don’t know how long we have on this Earth, so, like those dud mechanical grabbing machines you find in arcades, snatch up any chances of happiness that comes your way.

Take care, Eva x


By Eva Lauder

An indie author who happens to be a lover of all things contemporary romance, funny, minty, and chocolate…preferably all at once.

One reply on “Cougars and Sugar Daddies”

Very well written. My view, sod ’em, as long as both are happy. That’s the main thing in ANY relationship.

PS, i have plenty of ‘lead in my pencil’, i just don’t have anyone to write to 😬

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