As a writer, I am what is known as a panster. I have an idea and begin to pour what’s in my head onto paper. Actually, I lie, I pour my thoughts through to the keyboard. As with everything in my life, I have a general idea of which way I’m going and let it take me to where I’m meant to be. I work it out as I go along. I’m good at going with the proverbial flow, rather than plot and plan. I’m terrible at planning. In fact it always goes to pot when I try to be organised. So, to avoid disappointment, I fly by the seat of my skinny jeans. It works, for me anyway.
My eldest sought some motherly advice from me when she was struggling with life decisions 15 year olds are expected to make as they prepare to sit their GCSEs (show me a 15 year old who knows what they really want at that age, and I’ll show you a man who knows what women’s monthlies feel like!). Aaaanyway, as I was saying, my daughter wasn’t certain which route she should take. I told her that in life, we will always be faced with decisions to make and situations that we have no control over. What will be will be.
‘Go with your gut, and if that feeling takes you to a completely new direction, then so be it. There are times where we are determined to take a certain route, because in our minds, that’s where we should be going. BUT (and it is a big but) we then find ourselves living life as though we are pushing treacle up a hill. Life is like SatNav. You take the wrong turn, and it’ll reroute us to our correct destination. This is life. Take the turning and see how it pans out. Trust in your instincts and your passion. You will be happy when you reach that personal nirvana.’ It was a long and deep speech, granted, but she took it on board. Towards the end of her A’ Levels she rang me from college and started the conversation with; ‘Mum, remember what you told me a couple of years ago?….’
Here we go. I knew what was coming. She was now adamant that her life wasn’t in politics and Economics. It was in cooking. So, I smiled down the phone and told her that I trusted in her thoughts. Many people thought I was a crazy/slack mum for not following the conventional parenting route (nothing new there), but I know my daughter better than any nay sayer. Three years on, she’s flying up the culinary ladder and (I won’t name drop) she’s worked at one of the best hotels in the world, under the wing of a famous chef. She’s being sought out by big names in the chef world. She’s not yet 21. My daughter is the equivalent of a panster. Her entire mindset is a reflection of her laissez-faire attitude.
So, in a nutshell, we may not know where the road is taking us when we make snap decisions borne from our gut, but go with it. If it scares yet excites you at the same time, then do it. It’s better to test the water than to walk on by. Life’s too short for ‘I wish I…’
Take care, Eva x